LFR #3: Simon

La Femme Rayonlune: Simon
Co-authored with Moonbeam
Written May 2001

Rated R
Synopsis: A parody fic … the story of level five operative Moonbeam and the way we wish LFN had been.
In this chapter: Michael finds out the truth about his long lost love, Nikita seeks revenge on Madeline, and Moonbeam seduces a CEO executive with a secret…

Disclaimer: The characters you recognize are property of LFN Productions, Warner Bros., and USA Network. The characters you don’t recognize were created by the authors. No infringement is intended.

Section One: Madeline’s Office

“Baseball bat to the torso…check. Glass in the eye…check. Pinkie crushed by my heels…check.” Madeline examined her list of ‘accidental injuries’ to Quinn, pondering her next move. The woman was going to become a human piñata if she didn’t keep her hands off Operations. Madeline would make sure of that.

Moonbeam kicked in the Star Trek door, breathing heavily. “I…am going…to kill…Nikita.”

Madeline raised her head. “Good. Use that energy on your next mission.”

She paused. “Next mission?”

“Yes. The megalomaniacal CEO of Megahard, Gill Bates, will be having dinner this evening at Les Rogatons in Paris. He’ll be alone, so join him. Seduce him.” She handed her a round recording device. “Get him to speak into this so we can clone his voice and gain entry into Megahard’s archive building.”

“Seduce him?” she whined. “But, Madeline, you know how much I hate that!”

“I know, Moonbeam. Just think of it as a diversion from your mission with Nikita.”

The name made her scowl. “Speaking of Nikita, is there any way we can unleash the Torture Twins on her? She almost got me killed!”

“Don’t worry. Nikita will become submissive when Michael turns away from her.”

“Yeah, right, how’s that going to happen?”

The grin on Madeline’s face was enough to make Moonbeam nervous.


Section One: The White Room

Michael slowly opened his eyes. Everything was fuzzy. He heard the door creak open, and someone entered. It took a great deal of focusing for him to realize it was Operations.

“Michael, you surprise me.” He rounded the chair, just like Madeline showed him. “You were so dedicated, the best level five operative Section had ever seen. Efficient, deadly, thorough. You were to be my successor when I moved to Oversight. But now…you’ve ruined it all–your whole life–for one stupid whiny blonde bimbo! What kind of an idiot are you?!?”

He gave him a blank stare that meant ‘Kiss my ass, old man.’

“Well, no matter. We have a new level five operative, Moonbeam, Madeline’s protégé. She’s good,” he declared, then added as an afterthought, “and much more fashionable than Nikita ever was. She follows orders without question, even when her orders are to sleep with Nikita.”

Michael’s stare asked, ‘She slept with Nikita?’

“No, not quite,” Operations answered, annoyed, “but you don’t need to be concerned with the details. You’re here for an entirely different reason. For almost seven years, we’ve been hiding a secret from you. It’s time you knew the truth.” He flipped a switch on the small device in his hand. The lights dimmed, and a holographic projection of Madeline, slowly undressing, appeared before them. Operations fumbled with the remote. “Oops, sorry, wrong footage.” He clicked another button, and a picture of a man appeared. “Do you recognize this man?”

The black hair, the Asian facial features… It didn’t take much for Michael to realize who it was, and he finally spoke. “Simone?”

“Yes. Simone, your late wife. Or should I say husband?” He chuckled.

Michael looked back at Operations with a blank look. “I don’t understand.”

Operations returned to slowly pacing the room. “His real name is Simon Enomis. He was recruited by Red Cell fifteen years ago to be taken into Section One and become an operative in order to gain secret information about us. Once we learned of his actions, we put him on abeyance and one hour later, Glass Curtain answered our prayers and took him hostage on his next mission.”

Michael stared at the picture of Simon. He had done nothing to hide his real appearance; he just had very feminine features. After a few seconds of silence, Michael whispered, “I don’t understand why you’re telling me this.”

“In the explosion of Glass Curtain’s headquarters four years ago, we believed that Simon had died holding their leader Hester captive while the facility self-destructed. When Hester showed up a year later, we were under a great amount of pressure to save our own asses. After we rebuilt from the incident, we investigated and discovered that Simon also had not died. He regrouped with Red Cell to continue his work with them. We are letting you go for now, only to undergo an undercover mission. Are you prepared?”

Michael hesitated. “Yes.”

Operations smiled and started his briefing.


Section One: The Perch

Operations walked into the Perch with a smug smile on his face. Madeline stood at the window in her black vinyl dominatrix outfit. She turned to him and smiled. “How did things go?”

“He’s almost back to normal. We have his full cooperation for the mission.”

“Good.” She put a dog collar around his neck. “I hope you don’t mind. I tried to reserve the Tower but they’re waxing the floors.”

“That’s perfectly all right.”

Madeline snapped the leash on the metal hook and commanded, “Down.”


Les Rogatons

Moonbeam walked suavely into the restaurant, being as feminine as she possible could while balancing on three-inch heels. A wig with silky long brown hair covered her bright purple locks. She looked over the other people at the tables and slowly made her way to the bar. She slid onto a stool and said into the air, “Northwest corner, table 3.”

She looked over her shoulder at the man sitting alone. He was a nerdy sort of man, definitely an ex-high school geek turned millionaire. They made eye contact and she looked at him with wanting eyes for a few seconds before turning to the bartender that had shown up. She gave him her order and glanced back at Bates. He was still looking at her. She definitely had his attention.

It wasn’t long before she felt a tap on her shoulder. “Um, excuse me…”

She turned around innocently, still cradling her champagne glass. “Yes?”

Gill Bates stuttered, “Um, I hope you don’t think I’m being too forward…I usually don’t do this sort of thing…” He chuckled nervously. “I, uh, noticed that you were here alone and was wondering if you’d like to join me for dinner? That is, if you’re not expecting someone later…”

Moonbeam smiled seductively. “No, I’m not expecting anyone. I’d love to.” She held out her hand. “My name is Kathleen.”

He smiled and took her hand. “Gill.”

Gill kissed her hand and “Kathleen” gave a small flirtatious laugh. “Oh, what a gentleman.” He led her off to his table.


Section One: Common Area

Nikita sighed heavily, crawling on her hands and knees across the floor of Section. A few of the comm operatives looked at her strangely, but she ignored them. The Perch was dark, so she didn’t have to worry about Operations pestering her. She needed to find Michael–and quickly. She hadn’t had a good orgasm in the last twenty-four hours, and she was getting restless. She could do it herself, but where was the fun in that?

Finally, she saw him enter his office and shut the door. Excitedly, she scrambled to her feet, pushed the door open, and slipped inside, panting. “Take me now!”

Michael glanced up at her with another blank stare, interpreted as ‘What are you talking about?’

“Michael…” Nikita stuck her bottom lip out. “My little chaud-lapin…”

“What is it, Nikita? I’m busy.”

She almost jumped back, like she had been burned. “B-busy? What are you doing?”

“Reading,” he replied.

“Reading what?”

M. Butterfly.”

“Never heard of it.”

“It’s a play based on the true story of a French ambassador who falls in love with a Chinese spy, only to find out she was really a man.”

Nikita frowned deeply. “Why the hell are you reading that?”

Ignoring her, he opened the book and began to read. She left the room, her sexual frustration briefly forgotten as she headed to Madeline’s office with a vengeance.


Section One: hallway leading to Madeline’s office

Madeline headed to her office after her particularly tiring session with Operations. She hadn’t dressed up in that dominatrix outfit for at least a year, and she loved the feel of the taut vinyl against her skin. Paul liked it too, huskily asking her to come back after she rested. She smiled happily as she entered the code on the keypad. Her new Star Trek door slid open, and she walked inside.

And gasped.

Behind the glass pane where she kept her bonsai plants was a sickening sight. Someone had chopped off the treetops! All that remained were her beautiful ceramic pots. She turned to the tall metallic stand next to her, where she kept the orchid given to her by Moonbeam for her birthday. The flower drooped over the edge of its container, wilted and defenseless. Every single one of her plants had been killed, her years of dedication destroyed in an instant.

Only one person could be so cruel. Shaking with anger, Madeline went to find her.


Section One: common area

Madeline spotted Nikita in the common area, sucking juice out of a Capri Sun. She stomped over to her. Maintaining her calm, as she always did, she deadpanned, “Nikita, this has gone far enough.”

The blonde glared at her. “You deserved it after what you’ve done to Michael.”

“What have I done to Michael?” she asked.

“Uh…well, I don’t know yet, but I’m sure you’re responsible! I’ve hated Section One ever since I got here, but you were always the worst! You’re psychotic! You got only a fraction of what you deserved when I destroyed your plants.” A satisfied smile appeared on her face. “And I loved every minute of it.”

“Don’t be a child!” she yelled in the same voice she used the last time Nikita really pissed her off.

Upon hearing the commotion, nearby operatives circled around them. Jason started taking bets on who would win should a catfight ensue. Odds were an optimistic 10-1 in Nikita’s favor, but the operatives who had been there longer were betting on Madeline.

Nikita rolled her eyes. “I’ve had enough of you.” She squeezed her drink pack, and red juice squirted out of the straw onto Madeline’s dress. Everyone gasped.

Madeline looked at the stain, horrified, then stared at Nikita. “This is an Armani!”

Was an Armani,” she corrected. “I’d venture a guess to say it’s ruined now.”

She took a breath. “Okay, Nikita,” she began, rolling up the sleeves on her suit jacket. “I don’t like to dirty my hands, but if it’s a fight you want…”

Nikita snorted. “Oh, please! You’re wearing a skirt and stilettos! Besides, what makes you think you could possibly–” A fist connected with her face, and she went flying through the air.

Operatives ‘oohed’ appreciatively.

Madeline kicked her in the ribs, causing Nikita to double over in pain. She stomped on her with her stiletto heel, and the blonde cried out in pain.

Operations, who was watching from the Perch, slapped his comm device. “Hey, you!”

Nameless Operative #459 responded. “Yes, sir?”

“What’s going on down there?”

He winced as Madeline tossed Nikita through a pane of glass. “Uh, Nikita’s getting her ass kicked, sir.”

“By whom?”


“Oh.” He grinned. “Okay, never mind then.”

Nikita coughed, struggling to sit up. She wasn’t about to allow Madeline to win; all she needed was a gun. However, Madeline had other ideas. She jumped up, sending her body slamming into Nikita like a pro wrestler. The blonde was rendered unconscious.

Jason kneeled on the ground, slamming his fist on the floor. “One…two…three!” He grabbed the victor’s arm, pulling her to her feet, and lifted it in the air. “I hereby declare Madeline the winner!”

Madeline headed for the wardrobe closet to get a fresh suit. Some operatives cheered for her victory; others moaned at the fact that they just lost money. None of them paid any attention to Nikita, who lay in a crumpled heap among shards of broken glass.


Bates’ apartment

Bates and “Kathleen” danced slowly to Holly Cole’s “Jersey Girl”. Kathleen smiled seductively and Bates grinned like a schoolboy. She caressed his face with her left hand. The recording device was hidden as a watch on her wrist. “What do you say that we have a little fun?”

Bates was speechless. Moonbeam had to get him to speak. “Well?”

He chuckled. “Whatever you’re in the mood for.”

Birkoff’s computer beeped in the van. “Okay, Moonbeam, we’ve got it. End it when you want; we’re heading back.”

“Kathleen” licked her lips and kissed Bates passionately. He responded like a cold fish but Moonbeam pretended she loved it. She unzipped his pants and reached inside.

Bates moved in surprise as Moonbeam nipped at his neck. “Whoa, hey there.”

Moonbeam unbuttoned his shirt and slowly kissed her way down, not noticing that his skin got slightly darker until she arrived at his manhood and opened her eyes. She looked at it for a few seconds, up at his face, back at it. It was a completely different skin color. She looked at him and pointed at it. “What the hell is up with this?”

He chuckled. “Well, yes, it is up.”

“No, why is it darker?”

“Oh, well, that’s a funny story…um…I kinda…used to be…Asian…”


“Yes, I used to be a spy for a secret undercover agency but I’ve been hiding from a lot of people so I was forced to get plastic surgery and completely change my identity.”

Moonbeam looked at him skeptically. “Well, who did you used to be?”

“My name was Simon…”


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