In the Wake of a Passing Dream
Written November 2001
Rated a very strong R
Synopsis: Tormented by nightmares, Paul finds comfort with Madeline, and they share their first night together.
Disclaimer: The characters within are property of LFN Productions, Warner Bros., and USA Network. No infringement is intended.
The pounding on her front door roused Madeline from a much-needed rest. She glanced sleepily at the clock on her nightstand. 1:14. Who would be here at this hour, except… She reached for her robe and wrapped it around her body, stumbling toward the sound. In the darkness, she found the handle and turned it, opening the door.
“Paul.” She didn’t seem surprised to see him.
Her friend stood on her porch, shivering from the cold, heavy rain that had soaked his clothing. “Hi, Madeline. Can I come in?”
She ushered him inside. “You’re freezing! Wait here, I’ll get you a towel.”
He stood in the entryway, hugging himself. He could tell he had awakened her; her coffee-colored hair was unusually curly and a bit messy, and she was always very neat. He felt bad about coming over at this time of night, as he always did, but he needed her. There was nowhere else to go.
Madeline returned with a towel and draped it over his shoulders. “Take off your shoes and socks. I put a change of clothing in the bathroom.” She regarded him thoughtfully as he followed her orders. “Did you walk here?”
“No.” He paused. “I ran.”
“Paul!” She shook her head. “Sometimes I think you’re the smartest man I know. Then you go and do something like this to prove me wrong.”
He chuckled. “Well, I was going to drive over, but after I closed my apartment door, I realized my keys were still on the table.”
“And since you’re the only person who tolerates my middle-of-the-night visits…”
She smirked. “Go change. I’ll make you some tea.”
Grinning, he jogged to the bathroom to find a pair of gray sweatpants and a matching t-shirt folded neatly on the counter. He hadn’t seen this outfit in a while. Madeline kept a drawer full of his clothes at her house for occasions such as this. Usually he would just stay overnight, waking up to the smell of an elaborate breakfast. Being friends with her definitely had its perks.
Once he was warm and dry, he returned to the kitchen. Madeline’s back was to him as she heated water on the stove. She had shed her robe and was wearing her nightgown. Paul lifted his eyebrows at the sight. The silky gown was long and white with thin shoulder straps. It hugged her body nicely, clinging to every curve, and he gave a low whistle. She glanced at him, the corners of her mouth twitching with a smile.
“Very nice,” he complimented, sitting on the stool and grinning at her.
Rolling her eyes, she sat the steaming mug in front of him. “Here you go.”
She leaned on the counter as he took a sip. “So what brings you here at this hour?”
“The hospitality, of course.”
“Come on, I know you better than that.” She paused, resting her chin in her hand. “Nightmares again?”
He nodded once, staring at the tea. “It’s like reliving the war all over again.”
“Is it the same one, where you’re being tortured?”
Paul sighed heavily, nodding once more. “I remember it enough when I’m awake. Why does it come to me when I’m asleep?” He sipped his beverage, trying to get the images out of his mind. “It’s been years, but it still won’t go away.”
“Do you want to talk about it?”
She covered his hands with her own. “If you ever need me, you know where to find me.”
He nodded, looking back at his drink. She rounded the island and very gently touched her lips to his forehead. The kiss comforted him, and he managed a smile. “Thank you, Madeline.”
“You’re welcome.” She held his gaze for a moment. “I’m going to bed now. When you’ve finished your tea, you can join me.”
“Thank you,” he muttered again, watching her until she disappeared into the bedroom. He sat quietly for a long while, looking around her house as if he’d never been there before, although he spent more time here than his own apartment. Her furniture gave the distinct impression of comfort: deep leather chairs, glass-top tables, marble statues. It felt warm and cozy to him, although she’d probably redecorate if he told her that. She preferred to remain aloof, but he was the only person who really knew her.
He had met Madeline in the Ukraine, on a mission for Section. He didn’t know anything about her, except that she was a psych op getting some live training. She was good, and he respected her ability to think on her feet. Afterwards, he asked her to transfer to his team, and she accepted. Although he tried to get to know her better on a personal level, she was reluctant to talk about herself. One night, waking from a nightmare, he found himself at her door. They sat up until dawn, simply talking. She opened up to him, telling him things she had never told anyone, about her sister and her mother and her past. Captivated by her, he found himself wanting to know everything about her.
He sat the mug in the sink and turned out the lights, heading to the bedroom. Things between them had always been platonic, save for a few friendly kisses. It had nothing to do with appearance; she was a beautiful woman, turning more than just his head when she walked into a room. He was very attracted to her. Her emotional distance was the result of people–family, friends, lovers –who had hurt her deeply. ‘I’m not an easy person to love,’ she had told him. And he, quite foolishly, told her he loved her. Her response was more of an apology, that she wasn’t sure she could ever reciprocate his feelings. But he knew she felt the same. He just had awful timing.
Paul shook his head at the memory, and he stood in the doorway, looking at her as she slept. Moonlight streamed through the window, shining on her like a spotlight. I do love her, he thought, crawling into the huge bed and curling up behind her. The lingering effects of her perfume and shampoo drugged him, and he sighed peacefully.
“Did you like the tea?”
Her voice startled him. “I didn’t know you were still awake!” She didn’t reply, but he knew she was smiling. “Yeah, it was good. What’d you put in it?”
“Chamomile. It’ll help you sleep.”
“You’re too good to me.”
“Probably against my better judgment.” She huddled closer to him and sighed. “What would you do without me?”
“I don’t even want to think about that.” Closing his eyes, he began to rub her bare arm with the palm of his hand. Her skin was soft and warm. Very gently, he switched to the back of his fingertips, and his touch became slower, gentler. “You feel nice,” he said quietly, pressing his face against her shoulder.
He must have been dreaming because Madeline’s pleasant sighs were beginning to sound more like pleasurable moans. His fingertips lightly grazed over her skin, circling, caressing. They traveled lower, and he rolled his palm around her hip. The hand that had been tucked behind her head slipped over his, tangling its fingers with his. She made all of the motions with him as he trailed from her hips to her shoulder. If this was a dream, he didn’t want to wake up.
And then everything changed. She guided him along the slope of her hip to the heat between her thighs. She switched hands and rubbed his fingers along her abdomen, slowly pushing them farther, releasing them when he took control. Now I know I’m dreaming. His mouth was dry, and he continuously licked his lips to moisten them. The ache in his groin became more prominent, and he pressed his erection into her backside. He tried to slide his fingers lower, but her restrictive clothing made things impossible for him. “Take off your gown,” he whispered, before he even realized he had done so.
She got on her knees and pulled the dress over her head, hesitating slightly before turning to face him. Paul sat up, wide awake, and his breath caught in his throat. Oh, my God… Madeline knelt before him unabashedly, her body glowing in the moonlight. She was beautiful! Her breasts were firm and round, and their peaks matched the color of her hair. He stared at her in awe, wanting to touch her but unable to move.
She tilted her head down in embarrassment, a blush burning her cheeks. Paul continued to look at her, then, finding his voice, said, “God, Madeline, you… You’re so beautiful.”
She blinked, looking back at him. “What?”
He reached out, brushing back a lock of her hair. “I’m speechless.” He framed her face with his hands. “Are you sure about this? Is this what you really want? Am…” He paused nervously. “Am I what you really want?”
“Yes,” came her confident reply.
A smile tugged at the corners of his mouth, and he studied her reaction. She looked completely collected, except for her face. Her dark eyes shimmered, and her cheeks were slightly flushed with arousal. The fullness of her lips hypnotized him, and he wanted to kiss her for hours. Still she sat there, waiting for him. “How can you be so calm? I’m shaking all over.”
“We’re both shaking.” She leaned forward, parting her lips. Their breath mingled together as they stood on the fine line between friends and lovers. They finally kissed, their mouths meeting with an almost painful tenderness. Paul traced her lips with his tongue, feeling the ridges of her teeth with each pass. He shivered, tangling his hands in her hair. Why had it taken so long to do something that felt so right?
Madeline gently pulled back, breathless from the contact. She looked deeply into his eyes and traced his brow with her fingertips. He kissed her face lovingly, covering every inch, tracing the features he knew so well. “Madeline,” he whispered, gazing at her again. “I want you.” Relief washed over her face, and she gave a small nod.
Their lips touched again, more passionately this time. She was so delicious. His tongue rivaled hers for control, and he pushed her onto the bed, situating himself between her legs. One hand dropped to her hip, twisting her panties between its fingers. Madeline arched her back with longing, and she moaned as his erection rubbed against her. “Paul…” She wrapped her leg around his and flipped him over, straddling his midsection.
He grinned, running his hands along her waist, up to her breasts. They fit perfectly inside his palms, and he fondled them intimately. She tossed her head back and moaned, raising her arms above her head. He outlined the circle of her breast, gently drawing his hand inward to pinch and tease the nipples with his fingertips. Watching her expression as she openly enjoyed his caresses, he continued to explore her.
She grabbed the bottom of his shirt, pulling on it. Paul sat up, and she lifted it the rest of the way, tossing it aside. He embraced her, releasing a shaky breath as their flesh came into contact. “Touch me,” she commanded breathlessly. He kissed her chin, trailing downwards, leaning her back so he could reach her breasts. He took one in his mouth, licking the nipple before sucking gently on it. She gasped, grabbing the back of his head to keep him in place, although he had no plans of moving. He flicked his tongue across the swelling then blew cool air over it. It hardened even more, and Madeline groaned with desire. Paul turned his attention to her other breast, following the same routine. He brought the nipple between his teeth and pulled gently. The low purr she made excited him even more, and he moaned out her name.
Madeline ground her hips into his lap, ardently rocking against him. Shuddering, he lifted his head and grabbed her waist, pulling it closer to him. Blood pounded through his veins, and Paul thought he was going to burst. “Madeline–”
She cut him off with a firm, urgent kiss, sending his stomach into a wild spin as her tongue explored his mouth. She pushed him back on the bed, pinning his arms behind his head. The move both surprised him and excited him; he had never thought of her as being so playful. “Don’t move,” she ordered seductively.
He nodded and watched her as she slowly kissed her way downwards. She nibbled on his chest, squeezing his nipples until he shuddered from the sensations. Her tongue traced the taut muscles in his stomach while her hands yanked the sweatpants over his hips. They didn’t get much farther than his knees. Madeline took his penis into her hands, delicately stroking it up and down. Her pace was unhurried, sensual. Paul groaned, closing his eyes, savoring the feeling. Her warm hands circled the tip, spreading the moisture that had seeped out. However, when her mouth came over him…oh, my God. He gripped the pillow under his head, his eyes flying open and watching her go down, down, down until her lips surrounded the base of his member. “Uh…” He was somewhat dumbfounded.
“Suppressed gag reflex,” she said, answering the question in his eyes. “You just tell me how you like it…”
“You’re doing just fine on your own,” he replied, his voice a bit higher than normal. He lay back with a sigh, still looking at her as she silently debated how to proceed. She caught his gaze and smiled, completely removing his pants. Slowly, she swirled her tongue around the head while one hand massaged the heavy sacs that hung down. Paul moaned pleasurably, and she began to move up and down again, tilting her head from side to side, adopting a comfortable but intensely pleasing rhythm. He loved the texture, the way he felt in her mouth, how he trusted her enough to let her do this. Although he was verbally expressing his enjoyment, she switched her focus to the head alone, wrapping her lips around it and flicking her tongue across the tip.
His breath quickened, and she moaned softly but didn’t stop. It felt amazing, unlike anything he had experienced before, because it was her. Madeline, his partner, his best friend, now his lover. “Don’t stop,” he groaned, writhing beneath her. His penis throbbed in her mouth, and he could feel the initial loss of control. “God, Madeline, don’t stop…”
Raising her eyebrows, she took all of him into her mouth once more then slowly pulled up to the tip, making him shudder and gasp in yearning. The coy, seductive look she gave him stopped him from asking any questions. His climax teetered on a fine line, the anticipation of her next move holding his interest. “Close your eyes…”
He did, and for a moment, everything was still. He held his breath, waiting, waiting… Slowly, he felt something wonderful surround his penis, like silk. The very sensation made him tremble. It circled the base, lightly caressing him. Then her mouth returned, licking around the head skillfully. He moaned loudly; the two combined were overwhelming, and his hips rose urgently. Finally, she closed her lips around him and sucked hard. He shouted her name as he convulsed and exploded into her mouth. His world went black, and he panted continuously, unable to move, unable to breathe.
Madeline moved beside him, smiling at his stunned expression. She stroked the side of his face to coax him down from his high. It took him a few minutes before he was coherent, and he turned his head to look at her.
“Are you going to be okay?”
“Eventually.” He paused, taking a deep, satisfying breath. “That was incredible.”
“What was that, that silky thing?”
She chuckled. “My nightgown. I assume it was effective?”
“Oh yeah.” He lifted his arm, and she eased into it. “I had no idea it could feel like that. It was…incredible.”
“You said that already.”
“Then it must be true.” He chuckled at his own remark then tightened his hold on her. “I can’t believe you’re really here. I’ve dreamed of this moment…”
“So have I,” she confessed quietly.
Paul tilted her chin up, covering her mouth with his. He could taste himself on her lips and tongue as he explored the recesses of her mouth. She moaned as his hand cupped her breast and slid along her belly to the waistband of her panties. Determined to please her in the same way she pleased him, he tugged on her underwear until she lifted her hips so he could slip them off. “I’ve never wanted anyone the way I want you,” he whispered, caressing her cheek. “You mean everything to me, Madeline.”
She kissed him tenderly, her lips like a whisper. “I… I’m afraid.”
“Don’t be. I would never hurt you.”
“It isn’t that.” She hesitated. “You make me feel things I never felt before, and I’m so afraid that this really is a dream and when I wake up, all these things will be gone… You’ll be gone.”
“Hey.” He cupped her face in his hand and made her look at him. “These things you’re feeling are real. They aren’t going anywhere, and neither am I. I love you, Madeline.”
That got her attention, and she drew in a breath. “Paul–”
“I know what you’re thinking, that this is just one of those in-the-heat-of-the-moment things. Well, it isn’t. You’ve been my friend for years, my best friend. My only friend.” She chuckled, and he kissed her smile. “And I’ve always loved you as my friend, but now I can love you completely, without reservation.”
Her eyes searched his for some hint of insincerity, some hidden agenda. She found none of these, seeing only honesty and affection and a glimmer of hope. Hope. He hoped she felt the same way. Her answer was a gentle, intimate kiss.
He grinned as they playfully nipped at each other. It was perfect, everything he had wanted and more. And better yet, she wanted it, too. He lay beside her and brushed his fingers along her shoulder, following the slope down to her breast. She trembled beneath him, closing her eyes. “Does that feel good?”
She nodded, not trusting herself to speak.
“How about this?” he continued, lightly weaving his way along her stomach. “Do you like that?”
Madeline exhaled anxiously, bobbing her head up and down. Her breath came in heaves as his hand got closer and closer…
Her eyes flew open, and she saw him put two fingers into his mouth and pull them out again. She gasped when they returned to her abdomen, circling her navel tauntingly. She whimpered softly. Why wasn’t he going any lower? Desperately aroused, she raised her hips.
“Oh, is that what you want?” he asked. He allowed his fingers to briefly run through her pubic hair before returning to her navel. “Hmm?”
“Yessss,” she hissed, reaching for his hand.
Paul dismissed her attempt with a gentle swat. “I want to hear you say it. Tell me what you want.”
He chuckled. “Well, you’d better start.”
“Come on, Madeline, you can do better than that.” His fingers went a little lower, still not quite touching her where she wanted him to. He massaged the outer lips, but when she spread her legs, he returned his hand to her abdomen.
“Touch me,” she muttered breathlessly. “I want to feel your hands on me. Please, Paul…”
He kissed her deeply as his fingers finally brushed her warm center, teasing it. Madeline moaned loudly, bucking her hips against his hand, panting his name with every stroke. They gasped together, a chorus of unbridled desire. His erection returned, stronger than before, and he pressed against her thigh. “Oh, Madeline…” She was wet and slippery and perfect.
The word ticked in his brain like a clock. Nothing in his life had ever been perfect until now. He slowed his caresses, bringing his lips to hers. She pulled him closer, momentarily distracted by his kiss. He took the opportunity to slide two fingers into her, eliciting a gasp of surprise. She was tight but felt good, so good. Her moans became louder, and she dug her nails into his shoulder. Dizzy from his expert touches, she cried out his name again. He moved in and out gently, then more forcefully until she was dictating the rhythm.
Lust consumed him, and he couldn’t wait any longer. In one swift motion, he pushed himself toward her feet and buried his head between her thighs. She released an intense cry of pleasure as he slowly drew his tongue from bottom to top, capturing every bit of her wetness in his mouth. She was exquisite, tasting of copper. All of the fantasies he had had about this very moment paled in comparison to reality. He moaned, sucking tightly on the hard nub, then sank his tongue deeply into her. Madeline’s thighs clamped around his head, and she thrust her hips in his face, his movements propelling her to orgasm. Oh no. He wasn’t going to let her go that easily. He lifted his head to see her face, the honest, unrestrained expression of arousal.
“More…please…” she begged, tearing at the sheets beneath her. “Please…”
Obligingly, he returned to his gentle caresses, keeping her on the plateau. He wanted to memorize the contours of her body and learn every sensitive point of pleasure. Her groans were helpful in his endeavors. He teased her with his tongue while sliding his fingers in and out of her, massaging every crevice that elicited a moan. Soon, he promised silently, feeling her muscles tighten around his fingers. She made small circles with her hips, whimpering, and her hand clutched her hair when he began to go faster.
He could tell Madeline was getting closer with every stroke. Every move she made, from the thrust of her pelvis to the clamp of her muscles, drove him wild with desire, and he wanted to make love to her with his mouth until she lost consciousness. His fingers rubbed faster, and he flicked his tongue along her swollen clit as quickly as he could. Within seconds, Madeline was screaming, her spine arching as waves of pleasure slammed through her body. Her muscles trapped his fingers, but he removed them to drink the juices as they flowed from her. He let her relax for a moment then brought his mouth onto her throbbing bud, licking even faster than before, and she came again, crying out as her legs squeezed his head. He slowed down, swirling his tongue in her wetness, unable to get enough. Every part of her was trembling, and he looked up at her.
She was staring at the ceiling, her breath coming in heaves. He slid beside her, and she turned toward him, a dazed look on her face. He beamed with pride. “Have you had enough?”
He laughed at that. “No?”
Madeline sat up, desire burning in her dark eyes. He leaned back, propping himself up on his elbows. She straddled his torso, and he could feel the warmth that still dripped from her. She raked her nails over his chest, and he shivered. The feeling was intensely erotic. “Paul?”
She leaned over him, stretching her body until her wetness teased his erection. “Make love to me. I want to feel you inside me. I want–”
He pulled her to him, capturing her mouth and silencing her. Their tongues wrestled playfully as he turned her onto her back. He cupped her face and looked into her eyes; he had to make sure that she wanted this as much as he did. Madeline sensed his hesitation and kissed away his fears. He propped himself up as her hand reached between them.
The soft curl of her fingers made him even harder, and he groaned huskily. She was guiding him to her opening, biting her bottom lip in concentration. He held his breath; he certainly didn’t want to lose control now, but he was close. The tip eased its way in, and she slid her hand back to his shoulder. Waiting. Paul very slowly, very nervously, pushed himself inside of her. His whole body shuddered. She felt amazing, velvety and warm and smooth. “Oh, God…” He continued until he was fully inside her, the tightness of her muscles already beginning to please him. “You feel so good,” he whispered, still propping himself up on his hands. He didn’t want to move, savoring the sensations as he throbbed inside of her.
“Come here,” she said quietly, pulling him down until his body covered hers. She slid her legs out from under him and wrapped them around his waist. Gently, she lifted her hips while pulling down on him, and he slid deeper into her. Paul gasped, shaking from the contact. “See? It can feel better…”
Nodding in agreement, he followed her lead and began to rock with her. Their pace went from tentative to urgent, and he buried his face in her shoulder, nearly hyperventilating with excitement. She didn’t feel ‘good’ anymore; that was too mediocre of a term. She felt…perfect. He could feel the rapid beating of her heart beneath him, and it was pounding in time with his own. “Madeline…” Her body writhed with such intense pleasure that she began to whimper, tears pooling in her eyes. She called out his name, a warning that she was dangerously close. He lifted his head; he wanted to see her when she climaxed.
They moved faster and faster, racing toward the peak of desire. “Paul,” she whispered, looking deeply in his eyes. “I love you…”
The waves of pleasure that had carried them finally crashed, and their senses roared into silence. She was deaf to her own screams, hearing, seeing, feeling nothing but the fire that blazed through her. Her muscles convulsed forcefully, sending violent tremors through her body, and he exploded into her with a loud cry, then collapsed.
They lay motionless for a long while, sweating and panting. Madeline clung to him tightly, her body still tingling from their union. Once he caught his breath, Paul raised his head and kissed her lips tenderly. Neither of them said anything as they stared at each other, carrying on an intimate conversation with their eyes.
He stroked her hair lightly, and she smiled. “Madeline, you–” Had he heard her correctly? He opened his mouth to speak again, but she covered it with her hand.
“Ssshh…” She pushed him onto his side and kissed him softly, and his second-guesses completely vanished. He wrapped his arms around her, suddenly exhausted. As his lids closed, one word echoed in his mind: