Written September 2006
Synopsis: “So, uh, how long have you been … examining Cuddy?”
Disclaimer: The characters within are property of Heel & Toe, Shore Z. Productions, Bad Hat Harry Productions, and other corporations. No infringement is intended.
Cuddy put on her angry, this-is-the-last-time face. House didn’t have a patient, according to the sheet in the clinic. Brenda gave her a shrug and pointed to the door where he had last been spotted.
She squared her shoulders, marched to the exam room, and opened the door. Her voice was loud, maybe too loud. “Doctor House, how many times do I have to tell you…” She closed them into the room, preventing the staff and the patients from hearing her rebuke. “…that I missed you.”
“Missed you more,” he said, pulling her close and pressing his forehead to hers. “Promise me: no more weekend administrative conferences. A weekend is too long.”
“You could’ve come with me, you know. It wasn’t just for administrators. There were actual doctor things going on.”
“There were doctor things going on here too.” His protest was followed by a gentle kiss. “I made a hundred bucks off of Foreman and Chase in foosball.”
“I learned about a new drug to treat schizophrenic patients.”
“Cool. Did you meet any crazy people while you were there?”
“Yeah, actually. One of your old bosses. Carmichael. Wanted to know why you were still gainfully employed at my hospital.”
“Did you tell him it’s because you’re sleeping with me?”
She chuckled. “I’m pretty sure that wasn’t part of my answer.”
“Too bad. Would’ve loved to see his face.”
“You can set him straight next time.” There was a hopeful lilt to her voice. She didn’t like the weekend apart any more than he did. And the conference was boring. The only things that kept her going were the late night phone calls that she was sure woke people in the neighboring rooms and the suggestive text messages that he sent to her cell phone in the middle of lectures.
“We’ll see,” he said as he kissed her, long and slow. Her body reacted immediately. Never mind the fact that they were in the clinic, during regular hours, with the door unlocked. If he suggested they turn the exam table into a bed, she wouldn’t have objected.
His hands strayed from her face to her breasts, and she moaned in response. Damn him for knowing exactly how to light her fuse. She was about to suggest the table herself when the door swung open. The sound was terrifying, and she backed away, doing a mental check of how her clothes felt on her body. It seemed that everything was intact. “Thank you for the exam, Doctor.” The words sounded so stupid, and she closed her eyes briefly.
House nodded. “I’ll call you with the results.”
She pivoted on her heel to see a very shocked, very speechless Wilson in the doorway. She greeted him with a nod as her insides cringed. Then she walked out of the room and shut the door behind her, forcing herself to walk calmly to her office when what she really wanted to do was run.
House hopped up on the exam table, pulled his Nintendo DS out of his pocket, and started playing a game. Great. Cuddy would be having a migraine for the next week, Wilson would need counseling, and he would be forced to use his hand.
He shrugged at Wilson’s apology.
“So, uh, how long have you been … examining Cuddy?”
“J–June? It’s November! How could I possibly not know this?”
“Probably because you used to have manners and knocked when you encountered a closed door.”
“You could have locked it!”
“Are you kidding? That’s highly inappropriate!”
“Highly– You were examining your boss!”
He employed his best villain voice. “And I would’ve found the problem too, if it hadn’t been for you meddling kids.”
“Well, let’s see. There was obviously something wrong with her mouth which only your tongue could find.”
“My hands were kinda busy.”
“With her breast exam. Of course! Did you find anything out of the ordinary?”
“Nope. They’re damn near perfect. Real, by the way, not implants.”
“I … really didn’t need to know that.” Shaking his head, he sat on the table next to House.
House looked at him suspiciously. “You’re not going to list the million and one reasons why this is a bad idea, are you, because, trust me: been there, done that.”
“No. I can’t imagine Cuddy choosing anyone as her, uh, doctor, without considering all the angles. I mean, with the rising cost of health care nowadays, she’s got to be careful. There are a lot of doctors out there who wouldn’t give the care and attention to her … medical difficulties as you seemed to be doing.”
He smirked. “I have very reasonable rates. And I make house calls.”
“House calls, yeah. That’s a rarity in this day and age.” He hopped off the exam table. “Well, I hope that when you contact her with her test results later that she isn’t too upset with you.”
“She’ll get over it. But next time you decide to pop in for a consult, knock first.”
“I don’t think there’s any need for a future consult. I couldn’t find anything wrong.” He gave him a supportive grin. “She’s lucky to have such a competent doctor.”